Sandi4,
Congrats.. Suggestion 1: Break your menu down by the type of event you are planning.
Cake: I suspect will be the dessert - and not sure if you are doing that too ( can prepare some of that ahead of time) but don't forget your role as Mother of the Bride and time commitments.
- with Dessert will need Coffee, tea - so may want to determine the spot for all of this and possibly have some Nieces/Aunts in charge of preparing & serving this on the DAY.
Appetizers/Snacks/munchies - the things people will mull around and snack on while pictures are being done or receiving line or just the waiting for arrivals.
Cheese tray(s) that include a variety of things including cheese, fruit, crackers, meats, breadsticks, bread, spreads. depending on numbers and size of trays - can make up different arrangements. ( an all can be cut or in boxes just awaiting assembly early the morning of & still allow enough time to be there for daughter )
Veggie trays too and there are some easy ways to make them look fancy and add tasty dips
Humus/spreads and Pita breads are becoming big too
( no need to have hot snacks unless very small group indoors in colder weather - just my thoughts - but then there are the puff pastries and calzones and easy finger foods can make - freeze and heat up that day)
OK main meal - is the theme self serve/buffet style or sit down dinner?
Thinking Buffet is the easiest and I would try to stay away from grilling/and cooking that day - ( unless you are going for a theme like Pig roast, New England Clam bake, Steamship etc..)
Ideas:
Crock pots are great for Chilli, meatballs, soups, baked beans etc..
Quiches are nice and can be done ahead of time. ( reheat quick too)
Casserole ( sorry if spelled that wrong) are nice too and can be done ahead of time:one I like is a chicken and rice one but there are lots to go with whatever else making - even lasgne, etc
Salads are good compliments - but tends to take time and last minute time you may not have [ maybe a close family member(s) who wants to be part of the wedding could help here and bring the salad(s).
also:could roast a Turkey ( have it cooking during the ceremony?- for me too much work /carve it, need to provide extras with it cranberry sauce, etc.. and/or roasts, leg of almb or ham as options too
if you are fine with serving cold - can cook your meat a day or two ahead and have platters of the meat too
hope that helps get you thinking and charting out the timeline: and your oven/frig capacity /schedule
Advice - layout your food flow ( trays, space and don't forget the plates, napkins drinks and salt pepper, butter etc.. eliminates trying to figure it out that day and will make sure you have all yur serving utensils and bottle openers etc..
Because your first priority that day is to be there for your daughter - don't have anything that needs YOUR attention only and is critical to the meal .. so it won't matter if someone else helps or you aren't able to do it because you spending that time alotted WITH your daughter and family for the memories of one time moments of this special day is really what you want to do.
Good luck